I needed to be rescued

Ok - so I wrote up a letter, printed out confirmations of my upload times (they hadn't magically changed to before the deadline, however), and drove over to the State Bar to deliver the letter to the admissions people. They didn't have much to say, other than that I would get a letter telling me what they were going to do.

The good: Apparently there is at lease some discretion on the part of the bar to accept late answers. I was "only" a half hour late, dropped off a letter to the bar within an hour of uploading my answers, etc.

The bad: I have a really lousy excuse.

At least if they send me a letter telling me I'm screwed, I'll know in advance that I have to prepare for the Feb 08 bar. Sure beats waiting until November.

One of the girls I used to work with back before I moved out to Cali called me when she read the blog (thanks KA/MD) - that helped a bit. I know this whole thing is out of my hands at this point, that my luck sucks, that it's my own damn fault, etc. I even wrote an e-mail to my law firm director of attorney hiring, to see what happens if I don't pass. I think we get a second chance at it, but I'm not sure.

The worst part of all of this - I think I did enough to pass. I missed some issues (attempt as the lesser included offense for murder, for example) - but most of my answers were half-way decent. If they don't accept them, I don't even get the 40 for showing up - it's a zero. I have yet to talk to my parents, but they aren't going to be impressed. And they'll be worried I'll kill myself (which I won't, life goes on).

I'll deal with whatever they decide. Hopefully the begging in the letter to the director was enough. If not, well... not sure yet. Maybe it won't have hurt to learn all those damn CA subjects.

I'm fucked

Woke up at 9:30 AM to upload my answers... and no internet connection.

Screwed around with it for an hour, got them finally uploaded at 10:30 AM, 1/2 hour after the deadline.

I feel sick.

I called the state bar, they told me to write to the director, but it looks like I've failed the bar.

Remember me, every so often, promise me you'll try

Apparently my prior post didn't work... so here's an abbreviated version:

1) I'm sick of JOAN, whoever she is, and the sick relationship she has with our main proctor.

2) The MBEs cracked me up - actually, any time I see "Dumpor" I crack up.... or a girl taking naked pictures of another girl (without her knowledge???)... or the EPC of the 5th. And the fuck-ton of Ds (as Biff pointed out) - well, that didn't crack me up at the time... but now it's funny.

3) I think the afternoon session was easier for me, aside from some really odd questions,that I won't post here yet I get fined, put in jail, get disbarred (assuming I pass), or get a Rule 12 violation.

4) I'm tired. One more day.

I’m not sure how this all got started, but I can tell you exactly how it will end.

End of day one.

So the worst part of the exam has got to be waiting for the proctors to pick up materials... it's like waiting to de-plane once your flight has landed, only to find out that you have to wait for another plane to leave your gate. Minutes seem like hours, especially since I smoke. Anyways...

This morning was 3 hours of essays - all of which suprised me in some way or another. The first was a landlord-tenant problem. I actually think I did relatively well on that one, having had it drilled into my subconscious during property first year. I spent an extra 5 minutes of so on it, and listed off a fuck-ton of issues, especially defenses to paying rent - although I probably should have emphasised more that the "defenses" were really just mostly counterclaims. But I hit a bunch of shit and did a good job on it. Go me.

The second was a torts question - product liabilty and negligence. I really wasn't expecting torts, and I had convienetly forgotten the elements to PL, so I made them up. Some of the stuff I made up was correct - foreseeabilty - others, well, not so much. But I think I managed a 65 on it. Oh yeah - so the question asked if a MTD shoudl be granted, and I pretty much fell over when I couldn't figure out the standard for granting a MTD. What I used was - taking all the facts as true in P's complaint, does P still have a claim? But something about the question just didn't seem right.

Last up was evidence, and I probably did the worst here - given my ability to not want to point out why 24 of the 26 exceptions DON'T apply. In addition, I was somewhat pissed the evidence essay wasn't California specific. I inserted some CA distinctions, but I doubt I was even supposed to do that as the call of the question didn't ask for it. Apparently a number of other people did the same thing as me. Fuck you, Bar People, for making me focus on these things only to ignore them come exam time. Through me a bone. But.... no matter what - I got a 40!!!!!

The afternoon was the performance test, a PR question. I'm hoping this means PR won't be tested in the essays on Thursday - but my ability to predict is clearly not good - so it will most likely be a full essay. I wasn't totally happy with my organization of the essay response - I did more of a law shit first, then apply second in seperate sections - when I probably should have "weaved" more. But - 40!!!!! I left the PT portion early - as I was feeling slightly out of it - but I think it went ok.

Tomorrow is the MBEs. I was hoping to have the motivation to do some practice MBEs tonight, but I just don't want to think right now. Besides, I highly doubt that my ability to get 70 - 80% will drop to an unacceptable level should I ignore them tonight. I ran into some co-workers from last summer that were out here taking the bar and had dinner with them tonight, so instead of studying, I'm just going to ponder the latest gossip, read some Harry Potter, watch some shitty TV, and pass out - probably by 10. I'm already dreading how tired I will be come Thursday. Argh.

And to close - fuck the bar.

Do you think you'll pass the bar exam?
	Of course! I #$%!#$ Conviser and he gave me the exam early.
	Not sure. I only know 23 of the hearsay exceptions by heart.
	Not a snowball's chance in hell. I still think Prop 8 applies in civil cases.
	I'm not taking the bar, I just relish in the misery of others.
pollcode.com free polls

Was it a dream?

After a few nights of relatively peaceful sleep, last night I had another bar-related nightmare. For some reason I was in South America, and due to a storm couldn't make it back in time to take the CBX (after pleading with the airlines, checking alternate routes that took me through Florida and Kansas, crying, etc.). I blame it all on the BarBri story of the guy who missed the first day of the exam because he was a day off on his schedule. I woke up this morning in a panic - and double-checked to make sure today was in fact Monday, not Tuesday, as well as that the exam started Tuesday. I can already tell that tonight won't be an easy night's sleep. At least I'm not stuck in South America.

Anyways, after the minor freak out this morning, I sat around my apartment for a bit before deciding to deal with traffic to get breakfast at a little diner I found on google. I very rarely eat breakfast, but I do tend to consume truckloads of bacon when studying for an exam, and I've been lacking in that department lately with my diet of PB&J and coffee. The food was good - eggs, hashbrowns, and 4 glorious slices of bacon. The service was pretty good too. Perhaps I have that whole - "Be nice to me, I'm taking the bar exam tomorrow" look about me. Or perhaps they were just pitying me because I was dining alone. Either way - yeah for bacon.

This past weekend the so-called "sense of serenity" hit me - or, put differently, I've sort of given up. I did a few more mini-outlines on Saturday and Sunday, looked over a few essays, but overall I think I know enough to pass. During one of my all-to-frequent study breaks playing World of Warcraft, I was turned into a sheep for the first time... yeah, in game apparently the mages can turn people into sheep. I think it was a sign from BarBri. Despite my refusal to follow the paced program, I've hit sheep status with a day or two to spare. I rock on most of the MBEs, I lie like a pro during essays, and I randomly insert phrases like: reasonable person, qualified immunity, convenience of the parties, irresistible impulse, respondeat superior, and res ispa loquitur. I know I'm going to blow an essay, and I'm okay with that. I get a 40 for just sitting down, and a 45 if I talk about my ex-boyfriend dumping me and mention a ring (provided it's a property question). Yes, I could have done more, and no, I shouldn't have starting reading Harry Potter or playing WOW. If I fail, it will be my fault for not doing more - but I think I did enough to feel comfortable about this thing.

So tomorrow, after the first day, I'm going to re-read this, then tell everyone why it is that I'm going to fail. Confidence only goes down from here.

Good luck to everyone!

They called you failure's art

I just received the following e-mail from my father:

"Good luck on passing the bar this week, and always know that we're proud of you. I know how hard you've worked for this now go get it. Remember that if it doesn't go well we still love you. DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PS If you should fail don't bother to call or come home again, we'll disown you! LOVE DAD"

Gotta love that sense of humor.

The decision made itself

The book came early. Fuck.

Yes, things have gotten bad.

Blood of christ is dripping in to the eyes of the world again

The following quote just came up on my gmail -

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." (Don Marquis).

No kidding. And I suck at art. Anyways...

As I took the elevator downstairs this morning, a random person in my building, who I had never met before, decided to talk to me:

Random: "What are your plans for the day?"

Me: "Studying."

Random: "For what?"

Me: "I take the bar exam in a few days."

Random: "I'll pray for you."

Me: (Slight laughter.) "Thanks, I need all the help I can get."

Random: "Jesus is the only help you need. I'm alive because of him."

Me: "Um... Well, thanks."

Random: "God bless you."

--------------------------------

Ok... so I'm an atheist, but that didn't really bother me. What bothered me was the whole "I'm alive because of him" bit. Now, if I were to believe in a higher power, I would think that we ALL were alive because of him, right? So was it really necessary to point it out to me? Wouldn't a simple "good luck" have done the trick?

Then again, maybe she's right, and BarBri was the driving force behind the "God is dead" chain of thought. Instead of studying for the last two or so months, I should have been praying. Well - praying to something other than the World of Warcraft gods in order to level. (I'm now a lvl 30 undead warlock btw - sweet.)

---------------------------------------

The other bloggers have been posting their final review schedules. The Grand Poobah's seems bar far the most intense - about 15 hours a day until the bar. I'm shooting for 9-10 hours of actual study time. Today and tomorrow I'm going to make my one page charts for all of the subjects, and then spend Saturday through Monday outlining essays (most of which I skipped over during the paced program). During law school I always tended to cram at the end - including a number of all-nighters (thanks to me convincing myself that if I fell asleep I'd miss my alarm in the morning and never wake up). Sleep hasn't come easily lately aside from those days when I start drinking at 2:00 PM, so today I bought some sleeping pills which I will try out tonight. More important than cramming is going to be getting at least 6 hours of sleep a night and waking up at 6:30 each morning.

-------------------------------------------

Finally, if I don't pass the bar, I know what the reason will be - lack of my lucky vodka. During law school finals, I brought in one of those one-shot mini bottles of vodka to each exam. Not to drink it - just to have it there. The running joke was if I ever felt completely fucked, I could always just take a shot. It was meant as a joke - which most people got - aside from one of the law school professors who later notified one of the deans of the school about my "excessive drinking" including the whole bottle in the exam thing. As a result I got a call from the dean to go over my drinking problem. She apparently didn't think the whole vodka thing was as funny as I did, and was convinced I had a 1.75 in there with me. I found it entertaining though, especially after I pointed out to her my GPA (which would have been really impressive if I was a raging alcoholic.) Anyways, I still brought in the vodka to finals, and did well - never having to resort to its contents. Perhaps I'll stick it in my pocket or something - or at least the label. Unless we get frisked at the door, which is a definite possibility.

And we all freaked out, what a shame

PT review - what are the first two lines that MUST be included in an affidavit, which the CBX folks won't tell us about? I have no clue, and considering that this is the only PT prep I'm going to do, any help would be appreciated.

On My Own from Les Mis - Bar Taker's Edition

On my own
Pretending Conviser’s beside me
All alone
I read with him til morning
Without him, I keep on bombing essays
And when I lose my way I close my eyes and hope I die soon

MBEs
Aren’t easier when sober
Wrong answers are circled on my paper
Despite practice, essays are full of fake rules
And all I see Conviser forever and forever

And I know it’s only in my mind
That I’m talking to myself and not to him
And although I know I’ll fail the bar
Still I say there’s a way for us

I love him
But when the bar is over
He is gone
The PTs just a PT
Without him, I’m guaranteed to repeat
I’m giving up though everyone keeps telling me “You’ll pass this!”

I love him
But every day I’m learning
In BarBri, I only was half-listening
Without me, graders will go on grading
The world is full billables that I will never know

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only if I pass

You will burn in hell for all your sins

TWO UPIAs -

Uniform Prudent Investor Act
Uniform Principle and Income Act

Go to hell, uniform act creators.

I am certain I've become broken, bruised, and numb

The only thing I could think about when I woke up this morning was Harry Potter. No, not the new book, which comes out Saturday (and I've ordered with very slow delivery as to not get my hands on it until after the CBX) - but the sorting hat. You know, from the first book/movie. Harry sits down, and basically begs the hat not to put him in Slytherin-- "Not Slytherin, not Slytherin..."

I'm basically doing the same thing every time I study for the bar - especially when it comes to the essay questions... "Not Con Law, not Con Law." Even as I'm sitting here writing this, Con Law creeps into my subconscious. There's an old episode of Dawson's Creek on (don't ask, the CBX does funny things to everyone) - and there is a beauty contest that Pacey (a guy) wants to enter. State action? Intermediate scrutiny? What about a Capeside residency requirement? Quote from the show: "There is nothing in the U.S. Constitution that allows you to enter this pageant!"

Despite the BarBri promise that Con Law turns out to be one of the easiest MBE subjects, it's consistently the area I perform the worst in. Granted, the Chem-Chem outline was lost on a plane when I left for a mini-vacation right after BarBri started, but I don't know if that would have made much of a difference.

Today I'm going to try to change all of that by going to coffee and covering Con Law for most of the day. It's just so much easier to do the things I tend to get right - Community Property essays, Crim Law MBEs. I need to get over that - a week from tomorrow is the bar - so I'll save the "Not Con Law!" begging for right before I fall asleep each night, and prepare for the worst if that doesn't work.

A different kind of pain

My coffee shop is having an event with the two art galleries that surround it, complete with security guards, wristbands, and a bunch of really odd looking art folk. And loud music. So much for me getting anything else useful done today. It's hard to concentrate when I have to worry about waiting in line for 20 minutes each time I want to use the bathroom.

If it's like this again tomorrow I may just sit in my car and cry.

I find it hard to adjust to the lines you're drawing for me

So I'm on a mission to not get another parking ticket until after I take the bar. As a result, I leave the coffee shop after 55 minutes or so, walk down to my car, plug another quarter in the meter, and walk back. I tend to stare in the soap store next door as I'm walking by. It dawned on me that I'm approaching the Terry scenario. I'm sure it appears like I'm casing the place. Then again, I'm not talking with anyone upon my return to the coffee shop - that would require me actually having contact with another human being, which I've pretty much stopped doing in it's entirety, aside from the chick at subway who makes my sandwich every day. The baristas now know what I order at coffee, so no conversation there either.

Anyways, if I did get stopped, I think it would be reasonable for me to point out that I'm studying for the bar exam, and thus 1) have a stipend, so I don't need the cash, and 2) don't take the time to shower as it cuts into my studying time. (1) could be rebutted by the fact that I have developed an adderall addiction in order to study 24 hours a day for the next week and half before the bar, and that shit's expensive. (2) though, sounds pretty good to me. Reasonable suspicion dispelled? Let's hope so. Because honestly, if I get stopped and frisked, I'm all about committing a few choice common law torts on the cops, just for having the gall to interrupt me from the joy that is remedies.

You're a salty sea of misery

Tonight I'm going to see Rocky Votolato in concert - the last "fun" thing I'm going to do until after the bar. It was going to be my reward for working so hard these past few weeks, but since I've failed at that, it's going to be be my reward for waking up every morning (or afternoon) and not shooting myself in the face.

I'm incapable of memorizing anything - at least by the typical memorization method of re-reading something over and over again. Outlining has helped with the memorization part a bit, but I've noticed that in my essays I tend to gloss over the basic shit that doesn't apply and get to the point. What I need to do is memorize the language given in the sample answers. So, instead of me saying that "A controlling shareholder owes the corporation a duty of care," I need to get used to saying: "In general, shareholders of a corporation do not owe the corporation any duties and my freely transfer their interests in the corporation. However, contrary to this general rule, a controlling shareholder does owe the corporation some duties, they are X, Y, and Z." The bar exam doesn't teach you how to think like a lawyer, but it may help you bill like one - going through a bunch of insanely tangential and inapplicable material before getting to the point.

ANYWAYS -

To help with my memorization issues I've decided to go back to my law school tactic - charts. Well, not charts really, but graph paper that lists out everything I need to know - at least the basic points - in lots of pretty colors. Handwriting always helps me with these sorts of things, as does color coding the major points. I'm going to try to limit myself to 2 sheets of graph paper per subject, which is probably the only amount of information I can retain going into the bar. I think that will be enough - the focus of the essay isn't going to be some random day for service requirement - it'll be something more major. At least I'm hoping that's the case.

In other news, I subscribe to a forum that talks about the Cali bar exam. A recent poster put up something along the lines of: "The bar is a test of minimum competency, and it's hard to fail." The members who replied went ballistic, especially those who were repeat takers. It looks like everyone is on edge now. It was kind of entertaining to hear people go on at length about how hard the exam is - if that's the case, shouldn't they be spending more time studying and less time replying to someone they disagree with on a listserve? There's also been some discussion on forum about the time limit for firm offers and how long they can be kept open, with people quoting various treaties because of a discrepancy between the BarBri materials and a sample answer. There wasn't a clear answer on this - but that didn't phase me - I think the point of the sample answers is that they don't have to be correct, just state the rule and apply the facts. Reasonable authorities differ on the conclusion - and that's fine.

Also funny was a sample answer I went over today that stated: "No case has ever held X." Good idea??? I doubt it. But it's in the sample answer.

I think Prof. Whitebread was correct in saying that the bar is about the basics. I've looked over a lot of what has been tested in the released MBEs and the released essays - and nothing struck me as particularly unfair. I'm sure I'm going to blow an essay, or two or there, but I still think it's possible to get a 65 on them without perfectly reciting the time frame between the pretrial conference and discovery requests. I'm starting to think that the main reason people fail is that they get freaked out before the exam, study too much material, and lose sight of the major issues. Or just fail to study at all.

Yep, I'm a sheep, and proud of it. Baaaaaaaaaaaa.

Disfunctional fuck up

Motivation Monday came to a crashing halt thanks to another $40 parking ticket and no internet access at coffee. Instead I went home and played WOW. And drank, heavily.

Tomorrow is another day. Thank god. 2 weeks starts in 20 minutes.

Like a fugitive who just quit running you found out there's no escape

Fuck you, new version of Microsoft Word.

I bought a new laptop at the end of the school year, since the P.O.S. the school issued me was on its last legs and I wanted something reliable to take the CBX on. Anyways, it came with Vista and the newest version of word. I had all of my outlines typed up and ready to go, and just printed them all out in the business center in my building. Turns out that the option to make the docs Word 2003 compatible (which I need in order to print from the computer downstairs) does nasty things to the formatting of the outlines. I had spent a considerable amount of time making sure all of my spacing was set out the way I wanted it - major subject headings on a new page - that sort of thing. After all 200+ pages had printed, I flipped through them and found out how fucked up they were.

Most people would be somewhat disgruntled by this, but I have some sort of OCD when it comes to my outlines. For law school, all of my outlines had to be perfect. They typically were color coded and I kept them in pristine condition. One night during finals, a waitress at Denny's spilt a drop of coffee on one of them - and my friends thought I was going to have a heart attack/shoot the waitress. (Hmmm.... adequate provocation to justify a reduction in the charge to voluntary manslaughter? No--- that's judged by a reasonable person standard - and the OCD pretty much negates that.) So, needless to say I'm debating going through the outlines and reformatting them, paying a small fortune to print them out at Kinkos on a newer version of Word, or buying a printer. Clearly, it's not going to be possible for me to keep them in their current condition.

On a happier note - I'm all over the released questions - much easier than the AQs, and more straightforward. BarBri has had the unfortunate effect of making me think that the most obvious answer is wrong, because they test on the exceptions to the expceptions. The released questions, however, don't do this. I'm also happier with my performance on these - somewhere between 79 and 94 percent on the questions depending on the subject. So that's good.

A comment on the last post referred to the PTs. Honestly, I don't think I'm going to do any of them. The one I did for the turn-in for BarBri was enough for me to realize I don't need to focus any energy on those things to do well. The random essays, on the other hand, need more work. Especially in the specific distinctions questions. So I'll continue to try to work on that, keep up with the MBEs, and try not to stress out.

Speaking of stress - I know we can take bathroom breaks during the exam, but can we go outside to smoke? I'm fine on my timing issues for the MBE, and the 5 minute break would be better spent filling my lungs with cancer inducing agents than urinating.

Tomorrow is Motivation Monday again. The third to the last one before the exam. It also starts the 2 week crunch time period. I think there's a good chance I'll get my act together now - I couldn't study worth shit until about 2 weeks before finals during school, then busted ass until exams were over. Too bad there isn't a 24 Denny's that allows smoking around LA - or in the state of California for that matter. Then again, the waitresses there suck.

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

So I threw out the paced program (actually, it's buried in my trunk) and set up a new schedule for myself - the next 5 days or so I'm going to outline all of the subjects I hadn't gotten to yet (which was most of them). After that I'm going to be doing essays in the 2 weeks prior to the bar - 2 subjects a day - for a total of about 10 hours of studying (more if I can get my ass out of bed in the morning). I'm also going to do 100 MBEs or so a day. It's crunch time now, and I know this, and I don't feel prepared. It's sort of freaking me out. Most of the material for contacts that I've gone over so far seems familiar, but I don't know how I'll be able to recall it for the essays. Then again, looking over the prior bar exam essays, they don't seem overly difficult. I'll be able to hit most of the big issues, and ideally BS my way through them. Hopefully.

I'm starting to wish that BarBri was more uniform in terms of how the subjects were presented - some of the outlines from class were great, others were pretty shitty (like Civ Pro - way too much detail on stuff that won't be tested - or would only be worth a point or 2 - like days to serve). When I'm doing my own outlines I'm cutting out what I know I won't be able to remember come test day and focusing on the big picture. I think I'll be able to pass doing that. Once again - hopefully.

As to the Random Question - turns out that the guy was a realtor who was giving out his business card with the ice cream. My initial response was that the truck broke down, my friend (who was given the free ice cream) - thought that the person had just seen his dad outside working on the AC and felt guilty for the people inside. I guess that makes me the more cynical one, especially as I thought his response was insane. I think I likened it to the FEMA Ice Cream Service.

I've begun to think that watching TV is going to be more helpful for my bar prep than I thought. Within the last few days, I got to review the elements of arson, murder, and attempted murder thanks to an early X-Files episode. Negligence came up on an episode of Ice Road Truckers. And thanks to the one soap opera I've watched since I was 8 years old - Y&R - I've hit conspiracy, duty of those who undertake a rescue, defamation, false light, the spousal privileges, and accomplice liability. Too bad my friends don't find this as entertaining as I do.

Back to outlining.